I came onto the site hours ago with the intent of, you know, posting. Instead, I decided that I wanted a new look, and went clicking about the interwebs! I've decided to try out a new moodtheme - the floating Harry heads are taken from the lovely PotterPuffs LJ. Although it wasn't fun trying to assign 11 expressions to 132 words, uploading the whole business, and then using the admin console to get it to work correctly. I also didn't notice that I had a Plus account. (No, really, i just noticed this today.) Then I wanted a new layout, so I'm trying this one from appleleaf on for size. So don't worry, it's still me. :3
I have a crapload of homework this week, is the bad news, and I've also been pretty ill. I blew off school two days this week and went in with a fever two other days. And I lost my sweater, which means I have to buy a new one, which isn't a pleasant thought when I'm trying to conserve some cash. And I just had to ask my mom for 80 bucks to pre-emptively replace my laptop charger, which is going to die soon if the state of its cord is any indication. I've been caught unawares by chargers dying on me before (the new one will be my fifth in three-four years,
dammit, Dell) so I want to be prepared. My friend also wants 5 bucks a week for gas money since he's dropping me home every other day. So I've had little choice but to go on a diet to cut food costs.
I'm making it sound worse than it is, the diet. I need to lose the weight, I'm just kind of pissed at the moment. I'll tell you why - this gripe is the kind that needs an audience, not the silent type of fuming that I use my written journal for.
So, we watched a video in my American Government class about suffering on Thursday. (It's a required senior class, I didn't volunteer for that crap.) It was one of those semi-kitsch deals with the teens sitting around a campfire and talking about their ancestors - touching, but the kind of thing you know you've seen a billion times. It discussed the black struggle, civil rights movement, the Japanese and the Jewish internment camps, the Irish immigration, the Haiti situation - stuff like that. The class was pretty quiet all throughout, a few taking it in, most people daydreaming or dozing.
And then they got to the part about the gay rights struggle. Everyone woke right up.
Some of the things they showed in that part of the video, I found sad - like the signs about "Thank God for AIDS." With the exception of three or four other students, however, everyone was laughing. When the video ended, poor teacher tried to bring us into a discussion about that part of the movie and why the class had gotten so unruly. He tried to bring up the similarities between the gay rights struggle and the other struggles that ther groups had gone through, citing the only difference as being the fact that the gay rights struggle was not origin or race-based. The class refused to accept this, however. "It's not the same thing!" "Fucking queers!" And I'm thinking to myself - "Did you not just watch half an hour of footage about the parallels between these groups?"
Then he tried to make it a discussion about ethics and whatnot, which went straight to hell despite my higher hopes. I commented about religion and how almost all of the oppsition against homosexuality/bisexuality/transgenderism (I'm going to use LGBT, so I don't have to type all that) is rooted in religion. I also mentioned how location and religious history has a lot to do with it; how being gay in NY, for example, is much less of the collossal deal that it is in GA. (Mind you, I can't open my mouth in this class without being laughed at, so people were snickering the entire time.) Two people supported it alongside me, and there was one girl who disagreed maturely, but our attempts to present our points to each other were drowned out by all the jeering and laughing. Poor teacher then tried to create sort of a middle ground by using the example of gambling. If one had a friend who gambled constantly, said he, could not one love the friend still despite their disapproval of the friend's lifestyle?
They wouldn't even give him this, being being gay is just that horrible. The laughter increased. As a bisexual surrounded by all the scorn and name-calling, it hurt. A lot. I barely made it to the next class before bursting into tears. A friend had to take me to the bathroom and let me cry it out before we could go back.
It's not the fact that people disapprove. There will always be people who disapprove, and they can go
shove grenades up their asses ahead and disapprove, because that's their right to. Everyone has the right to an opinion, and I'm happy to debate the issue with them. I was willing to listen to that girl, to respect what she had to say, because she didn't laugh. She defended the bible, but she mentioned what it said about how we're supposed to love everyone and not judge, which everyone else had conveniently forgotten about. (Literally, they started clapping when she began her statement, yet stopped when she reached that part.) It was the lack of maturity about the issue - the reluctance to see that history was repeating, to even acknowledge a L/G/B/T as a human with feelings. It ruined my week.
My girlfriend's out of the country for a few days, we had our year anniversary this week. I wish I could talk to her.
*sigh*
I
f you are a cold, frigid human being don't care at all about Miroir's emotional state: I have the basic gist of what's going to happen in the next chapter. I'll start writing after this awful week is over. Because I have a crapload of things due, and I have that class three times this week. So I know it'll be awful.
Hope you're doing better than I am. Comment if you can,
-Mir
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nervous
fuck my life
cheerful
anxious
pleased
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drained
introspective
floaty